Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Coodles in the Kitchen.

So I lied. This isn't a post about the campus. It's getting late and I wanted to jot down a few thoughts before I go read, sleep, and finish writing a letter. Yes, in that order.

I told Joel today that I liked girls. Dialogue:
Me "Do you like me Joel?"
Joel "Do I like you? I would have to say, 'Yes.'"
Me " Then I would have to say that I don't like guys."
As I watch the world shatter in his eyes, he says "....Well, at least you're honest."

And that was that. He hasn't texted me since. I hate breaking this kid's heart. I hate it. I feel like scum. Ugh.

Denied to give blood today. God, that vexes the shit out of me. I feel like my body is failing me and that just makes me even more annoyed. Having an inferiority complex about those things doesn't help me one bit.

Went to a rugby meeting. I'm so excited to play!!!!!!!!!!!

Hung out with Josh today. Did I mention he's British and has a beautiful accent? Ha. He's awesome. So I decided to take him to my floor to meet my floormates and roommates and, of course, he's an instant hit. I flirted with David, a Cross Country pretty-boy, a lot. Bad choice on my part. I walked with Josh back to his dorm hall and he stopped me and asked me if any of my floormates knew if I were gay. I said "No, only my roommates and Denny know." He said, "Yeah, I figured by the way you were acting. You obviously want to hide something." The boy was right on. I just wanted everyone to like me before I blew up the G bomb in front of them. That makes me seem sketch. I'm scared. I'm a coward. I don't know how to deal.

He then gave me a hug and said, "You're not supposed to be the fucked up one, okay? Leave that to me."

Anyway. Goodnight. You can take this post however you want it.

2 yos.:

Anonymous said...

if it makes you feel better, no one here knows that i'm...HRMHRMHRM. well, one boy does, but that's a story that i should tell you in private.

glad to see youre fitting in/meeting people/engaging in awkward conversations. :P

Suzanne said...

toldja you'd find a friend. Josh is good for you. ; D

suck about Joel and blood, but you'll get over both. no worries.

hey girlie, I need your address! GIVE IT. NAOW.